Spring 2025 Dream Journal
16 Jan, 2025
I dreamed about a group of English girls.
They were eating those nasty red beans. Then one of them politely kissed me on the mouth. She had been wearing my new Adidas and I got something like hot chocolate powder all over her and it. She was saying the stains wouldn't come out and I was arguing that it was fine.
I got in yesterday. No strong gut feeling about this semester, and nothing to really report so far. We had Wolfe's for breakfast and are reading in the room now. I read Haruki Murakami's The City and Its Uncertain Walls over break.
17 Jan, 2025
I had a dream about European girls again. This time I was at this gym club with J and U and we were just looking at these really beautiful girls. It was literally a club, like a dance club, not that I'm proud I dreamed it.
19 Jan, 2025
I got a girl's number at a rat-themed party, and I sort of feel like I catfished her because I wasn't wearing my hat. R and I were the only ones dressed remotely rat-like, actually.
My rabbit hat is still at the dry cleaner's in Washington. It fell out of the machine. First and last time I take it to the dry cleaner's. I feel very weird not having anything immediately weird about me. It's lame.
Things written on my wrist this morning: Two names, and the words "blue stool."
20 Jan, 2025
I can't fall asleep tonight and I don't want
to wake up my roommate with any light, so I am
writing in the dark.
I just bolted upright in bed after
hearing these fireworks go off that sounded
like an explosion. I can't believe that's even
happening here, today. Nearly midnight,
January 20, 2025.
New world wakeup call.
21 Jan, 2025
My roommate: "I'm really not at the point yet where my ass itching is a meditative moment. It really just itches."
My roommate is using fabric scissors to fuck up his True Religions because his ex wants them back (they were a gift)
"Arab Sea world is the United States"
26 Jan, 2025
I had a dreamless night that lasted from 3AM to 10:30AM. I am seeing the girl from the party today. She is twenty three which is really sexy. Hopefully that is not the age I remain attracted to for the rest of my life. It's a synchronicity number.
27 Jan, 2025
It's dark in the room again.
I woke up at her place this morning.
I have to write it down before
I forget but not now.
I really like her.
She did ask me if I was a virgin
because she said I seemed nervous.
I have her hoodie and she has my ring.
28 Jan, 2025
She was as late as I would have been had I not folded and taken a car to the billiards place. I waited outside for a long time and took a walk, which was good for my nerves. We met and walked to Nizarrio's, and he gave us a whole pizza because he liked us.
I liked us. We talked easily the whole long walk up and down Geary, to and from Family Billiards, where we ended up because I wasn't 21. It's still an 18 and up place. Few families. We were the youngest people there, mixed in with old men still in their work uniforms. We focused on the game, which was slow and badly played, and I had to remember to ask questions. She was sneakily using her deodorant and I saw, and asked if I could have some. I said it was like we were in a Dove ad. We tied 1-1.
She asked would I like to come back to her apartment and I said... guess what I said!
1 Feb, 2025
"Henry, it's noon." A quote. It's noon. Another rainy morning and a week till my birthday. I have to be on a set in two hours.
I went to the library yesterday in the rain.
Today my mood is cloudy. My meditation was suffocating, like trying to come up for air from the inside of an egg.
2 Feb, 2025
Groundhog's Day, it's noon again. I woke up in C's bed like half of a yin yang. After a strenuous shoot acting as Drunk Guy no. 1 (opposite Drunk Gal no. 1) we got real drunk and I fell asleep at the foot of the bed.
The twenty three year old is sick so I'm not seeing her today.
Started putting deodorant antiperspirant on my hands.
4 Feb, 2025
I have decided never to drink on a Monday night again for the foreseeable future.
5 Feb, 2025
I think I'll leave town for my birthday. This morning, I feel not the best, but the cold air coming in through the window is good.
I secretly hope that someone will miss me on my birthday.
Things I Remember About The Twenty Three Year Old: (abridged)
- She's blind in one eye (her left, I think)
- Her dad works for Black Rock
- I think she's 5'4
- (...)
- I could fill another page if I didn't have to get up.
6 Feb, 2025
I finally got my hat back in the mail.
7 Feb, 2025
Today is my 20th birthday. I had bad dreams and good dreams.
I'm in Santa Cruz with my Uncle Gary and his friend LP. It's raining again today, it sounds like, outside. I have a JPEGMAFIA song with an AI sample stuck in my head.
At some point today I guess I will be 20. At about 5:30, I think. Uncle Gary is out on a date. I called Dad and he was at the hospital with my brother like usual. The boardwalk is closed today, but the sun's come out and it's really nice.
We explored lots of nature today, I took a nap and listened to Kid A. We went to an AA rave, and agreed there's a first and last time for everything. It was a good day.
I'm thinking about Christopher Isherwood. I'd found a book of his journals that day at the library and opened to a random page where he'd written no one remembered his birthday. I kept reading from there, flipped around a little, then skipped to the last entry in the volume, as one does. It was decades later, longer than I've been alive, and he wrote that his husband had woke him up on his birthday and remembered, and it made him cry.
At dinner, it was someone else's birthday, too. The same thing happened last year, and with Uncle Gary there, too. He had an existential crisis at midnight. His birthday is the day after mine.
The twenty three year old texted happy birthday but not whether or not she wanted to hang out on Sunday.
9 Feb, 2025
My roommate woke me up by farting three times last night. He interrupted a good dream, a bad dream, and a medium dream. I was dreaming about girl stuff. My roommate keeps distracting me from journaling and I'm giving up.
I gave up on seeing the twenty three year old again, went to an art show, then she asked me to come over again, then we missed each other again and I got pizza with someone with a tattoo of a paret fuck, I spelled "parrot" like parro fuck, god damn Parent, fuck. I bought a book, read it, then left the show without it. I think I really am stupid because part of me still thinks I'm seeing her on Valentine's Day.
14 Feb, 2025
Valentine's. I ate too much mediterranean food
and washed it down with a butterscotch milkshake
at Orphan Andy's and I feel crazy.
No date. I am not going to dwell on it till later.
18 Feb, 2025
* * * * * * * * *
9 Mar, 2025 Haiku for Vivan
Wake up blurry. You're
the last thing I remember.
I'm zero dollars.
11 Mar, 2025
I can't tell which part of the room the vomit smell is still coming from. This is the first time I've ever missed daylight savings, I just didn't perceive it, I was too hungover. It's a funny story, it's not serious, only I've told it too many times now. It's Tuesday. I stick to my routine and go for my run.
12 Mar, 2025
I had a dream I kept thinking it was my birthday.
I saw the twenty three year old at the party on Saturday with a different guy, with a better mustache than me. That was why I decided to get really drunk.
I dunno.
21 Mar, 2025
Man I really feel like I haven't been having wild dreams. Like random fun stuff worth writing down. I had a dream last night that my roommate and a new girl were inviting me on this trip and I had to say no cause my Grandma Cookie died. My Grandma Cookie died. The last time I talked to her was on my birthday, and I kept thinking about how I'd call her back and tell her how it turned out with the twenty three year old cause she'd wanted to know. I wasn't going to tell her I saw her at a party and blacked out/threw up/ended the party, probably. I feel bad that I didn't do that, and I feel sad that she died. I had another dream I didn't get my summer job. I feel... you know.
1 Apr, 2025
Woke up at 11:20 cause I'm a fuck up. I had a dream I didn't get the parks job and everyone was telling me how bad my application was.
I also had a dream I was the guy who seasoned everything at an Indian food market. Was I Indian?
4 Apr, 2025
I dreamed about working at an animation studio, when I was younger. Now I dream about being a fuck up.
6 Apr, 2025
I threw up on you I put your gum in my mouth
You asked me something I didn't want to answer
I said "I dunno, maybe"
When we woke up you hit your vape
My bed is dirty my bed smells
Can I float something by you
Maybe it is all right
7 Apr, 2025
I had weird, weird waking dreams and someone talked to me about the nature of those in a memory. Well I fell asleep writing this and woke at the sound of my pen falling. I had a dream the power was out. I think he was dream traveling. He was saying those waking dreams were memories that weren't yet fully formed. Fading memories of the past or unfocused memories of future experiences?
I have been tripped out cause the light switches haven't been working, with our power out. Light switches don't work in dreams. I was just glad that somebody was there to confidently explain nothing to me.
9 Apr, 2025
I like her but I don't want to mess things up.
I've been wearing her bracelet and she's been wearing my ring.
She made me a cassette.
I forgot to write down that I gave the twenty three year old her hoodie back. That was the same night I held hands with V.
I am thinking about girls named after places.
12 Apr, 2025
It will be a pink moon tonight. Like the song.
I just woke up from a dream I was at a brunch of sorts? Apparently it was National Pancake Day, and someone had spilled something on the floor, and somebody else brought their pet fly. Weird.
19 Apr, 2025
V made a flower out of a long strand of yellow string she pulled from my Crumb blanket. She said the Ice Bucket Challenge is back. We are listening to a Stardew Valley spring record but I want to listen to Side B of Kind Of Blue. It's getting late. H texted "What kind of booze should we have for band practice?" V drew a creature on the back of this notebook.
20 Apr, 2025
Once again it's 4/20 and I'm behind on everything and still taking part. Morning three with V. I'm cooked. It's alright. I'm a junkie.
21 Apr, 2025
Yesterday was Easter, 4/20, and the big wheel race in Potrero Hill and it was awesome.
Easter was... a haiku written by a manic depressive having a great time. Haikus are cartoon characters
22 Apr, 2025
Rested as fuck. Senior Park Aide interview at 1.
Things I Remember About V: (abridged)
- She remembers everything
- We have almost the same prescription and she's more blind in one eye, like me.
- Her sister is a clown.
- She likes the fall the best back home and the summer the least.
- She said "I Love You" by accident this morning when I handed her her vape and I laughed.
- (...)
28 Apr, 2025
I had a dream I was surprised the semester was really over. I was going home and I was surprised there was no more time left.
29 Apr, 2025
Didn't get the parks spot.
I dreamed I was talking to somebody whose face I can't remember now.
I'm gonna go for my run.
2 May, 2025
Love Everyone Anywhere
more not less more not less
love is always responsible
love is always responsible
You clung to my arm like you were weathering a storm
and you shook like it was cold spring rain
11 May, 2025
V went home, I did storage and stuff today.
Filled with strange feelings not good or bad. Almost blank with a shallow dispersed cloud of energy. In the perfect mood to go to sleep, soon.
13 May, 2025
Last day. Said lots of byes and still have packing to do I don't wanna do it. I have so many bags. I dreamed I was somewhere with my roommate. I'll write more at the airport maybe.
Keep dreaming...
Fall 2024 Dream Journal
Saltwater Dream Journal
Fall 2023 - Spring 2024 Dream Journal