Spring 2026 Dream Journal

Semester 6

Why had I been such a fool when it came to loving you? My love for you wasn't foolish, but I was; had my own innate foolishness made love itself foolish? Or is it that I myself wasn't all that foolish, but love's inherent foolishness awakened any foolishness latent in me and eventually smashed everything to pieces?

- Chen Ran, A Private Life

3 Jan, 2026

Thoughts for the New Year:

You just have to love things.
You can't love yourself if you don't,
and it's all one big thing, anyway.
So the more you love, the more you love.

You can't just do things from a place of not liking them.
You have to wholeheartedly love those things.
You want to change them because you love them.

You want to save them.
If you didn't love them, you wouldn't care.
If you love anything, you love all of it.
Remember that, Henry.

You've been so negative lately.
Fuck that negativity.

7 Jan, 2026

"I can't believe it's already been 2026 for a week", I just said to V. We got back yesterday. I don't know if I really believed it was 2025, last year, but I got used to it over the course of twelve months.

Back to work, soon.

I do feel pretty good. I have that fresh, new feeling you get at the start of the semester. I don't feel like isolating. It's like a hangover's wearing off.

Man, writing happy stuff does make you feel better, and it's free.

8 Jan, 2026

No serious things to dream or write about, we got up late. Today is good.

Although, I can't hit snooze on a single alarm this semester, or I'll never wake up on time again.

And I have to sit up to write or else I'll fall back asleep.

9 Jan, 2026

Today it was hard to get up again. No dreams.

V fell asleep last night with my butt in her hand. I had to bury my head under my pillow cause she was snoring.

I wish I knew where my little black book was.

Found it.

11 Jan, 2026

I keep waking up in the middle of the night ~~contorted~~ horribly contorted against the wall with my arms pinned under me, asleep. I have to scrunch up my legs to my chest as leverage and then push me and V's dead weight so I have more room to not be crushed. Then I fall back asleep and wake up a couple hours later in the same position. It's like V-induced sleep paralysis, ha ha.

12 Jan, 2026

Talked in therapy about doing things from a place of love.

I guess I should get up. No more pushing how late I'm in bed. Only getting up and having a good day. Although these moments in bed are some of the best in the day, maybe because I'm not allowed to have them.

I am grateful for my warm bed and apartment with V in them.

I am grateful to be somebody who can think their way out of things. Or, think their way to great things, how about.

I am grateful I keep finding my little black book. I can't lose that.

13 Jan, 2026

V found out this morning she wasn't going to graduate CCA. Drama!

It goes on...

Fall 2025 Dream Journal

Bogotá Dream Journal

Spring 2025 Dream Journal

Fall 2024 Dream Journal

Saltwater Dream Journal

Spring 2024 Dream Journal

Fall 2023 Dream Journal

^{1. Jesus, apparently being happy is fucking boring.
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